Another flickering light went out.This time it was my husband’s mother, my mother in law. She passed away last week at the age of – well, over a hundred years. At first people said she was hundred an four / five. It turned out that even that was not correct. And my brother in law had all the facts to support his claim because she had talked to him about an incident that had happened in 1908 and at that time she said she was 8 or 10 years old. But however long she lived, she was tired of living now and wanted to go home.

When her bones became wary of 0stioprosis, walking became difficult. She was provided a walker, but she didn’t like it. Same with a hearing aid. Lost all her teeth. The dentist took care of her dentures but she didn’t like them either. So now she was helped to the rest room, spoon fed the soups and had her daughter to be her ears when her son called from across the Atlantic. Then one morning she asked why was it so dark. Was it raining or just overcast. A new pair of glasses didn’t work. Slowly and gradually the time was taking its toll but one thing it could not touch. That was her mind, her thinking mind. She was alert, she was sharp, sharp as a needle.

She had always been an avid reader of newspapers. She had to know what was going on around the world. She was also interested in the local politics. You could easily talk to her about the issues the country was facing. She never got a formal education but she could read Urdu – her mother tongue – and Arabic. She was excellent with numbers. I used to say that Indira Gandhi didn’t have a chance if my mother in law was given a proper education. The first time I told her that she looked at me quizzically. Was I trying to be smart? she probably thought. But then that sharp, probing look from behind the thick glasses softened and she laughed.
” ghar chalana bhi to gormint chalana he ” ( homemaking is like running a government) was what she said. She had a point there.

She was a good mother, full of love and affection for her children. Very authoritative to the point where you would think that she owned her sons and daughters. She knew her motherly rights and no one, but no one could go against her wishes. In a way the credit goes to her that she raised her kids with such care and devotion that they would always listen to her, no matter what. They were angles, she believed and could never be wrong.

And daughters in law? well who cares? They were brought in the family to keep the family name alive. But that does not mean that she was not polite or sociable with them.

Once we were talking about something. At one point I asked her, Ok, ammi (mother) you have three sons and two daughters. So two sons are your eyes and one is your heart. Daughters? ummmm. They could be your kidneys. So what about your daughters in law?
“They make my sons happy.” ” And you?” I persisted. ” Now what else you want to know? Didn’t I say, if they are happy with their wives, I am happy too.”

Even though, she was not vocal about that, but her oldest son was not as close to her as she would have wished him to be. At the age of sixteen and just out of tenth grade, he was sent to Pakistan to his chacha (uncle) to get his college education there. There were probably some other reasons too but that is a family matter. He was not happy with this arrangement and has always resented the fact that he was separated from the family at such a young age. He was always very reserved and cynical with her But she never let it affect her love for him.

Now how old was she? I will relate an incident that she told my younger brother in law and then you decide how old was she when she passed away.

After World War 1- that is early 20th century – in the subcontinent of India, a wide spread movement was started,. It all began because Turkey was defeated in the war and some parts of Ottoman Empire were given to Greece and some other non Muslim country. The Sultan of Turkey was considered the Caliph of the entire Muslim World and the disintegration of the Empire was unacceptable for the world wide Muslim community. In India, two brothers, Moulana Mohammad Ali and Moulana Shauket Ali started the historical Khilafat Movement. I will not go into the details of the Movement.

My brother in law talking to me on the phone said, ” sometimes back ammi had told me that when; during the Movement things got serious and the British Raj, put the brothers in jail, their mother, endearingly called by everyone, Bi Amma, came out of purdah and went around towns and cities and villages giving speeches, spreading her sons message, collecting funds for the Movement. At one point, Bi Amman came to her village to give a speech at a local, girls school. Ammi went to that ‘jalsa’ with her mother to listen to the speech. ‘I was eight or ten years old’ she said. ‘I remember everything’ ”

According to the history books it happened in 1908. Now figure it out !!

Way back when the presidential race was still going on between Obama and McCain, I saw this on the news.

“No way, no how, no McCain, no Palin!” Mrs. Clinton declared.

After someone in the audience yelled, “Tell us about Palin,” Mrs. Clinton replied: “I don’t think that’s what this election is about. Anybody who believes that the Republicans, whoever they are, can fix the mess they created probably believes that the iceberg could have saved the Titanic”.

This was Hillary – my love/hate syndrome. She is smart, she is beautiful she is tough and she is intelligent. But I was for Obama and who ever said anything against him, promptly landed in my bad books. Then Obama won the Dem. Nomination and Hillary was out of the picture. I could deal with McCain as a rival but it was obvious that he was no match for Obama. He was a man holding on tightly to the same old ways of playing political games.

It was appreciated when she endorsed Obama. But I was still apprehensive when she announced she was campaigning for him. And slowly love for her crept back and soon she was a shining star among my favorites.

Now I hear that she is being considered for Sec. of State in Obama Government. ummmmm. I don’t like this idea.

And why is that?

I have good arguments. The biggest among them is – she is too opinionated, too strong headed and her ideas will clash with that of Obama’s. And if she does not get what she wants she – sort of – falls back on emotions … if anyone can still remember her on her campaign trail! Remember how she was saying just about anything about Obama? She wanted to get into the White House so bad that you could see the White House reflecting in her eyes. And now President Elect Barack Obama is rewarding her with a most prestigious post.

Well, what can I say. All I can do is wish him smooth sailing.

My five years old granddaughter should be offered some job in the government.

She was sitting on the porch with her dada enjoying the winter sun. A butterfly was flitting around a nearby bush. She was admiring its beauty, its colors and the way it was going around the bushes looking for flowers. That stirred dada’s memories and he took stuff out of his memory bank. The story was about his cousin who had a hobby of catching butterflies and then putting them in his big, butterfly album.

The seven years old who is a kind hearted gentle soul, was not happy to hear that. She thought the man was cruel.

The five year old who was languishing on a deck chair, just shot up,

“What a bad, bad idea for the future of the world! without butterflies everything would become yuky. Didn’t anybody tell him that, dada!!”

it sure is hard to believe that these words came out of a five years young mind?

Sixteen months ago, my son brought Obama in our home and said, “Ma, pay attention to him. Listen carefully to what he says … he is going to be our next President.”

I was sitting outside of camp Clinton not sure if I really wanted to go in. So I started listening to him … started paying attention to what he was saying. I got hooked.

Tonight history was made. A black man won the Presidential nomination and as my son said, he is going to be our next President.

With a name like Barack, you can never go wrong. He has proven it, and come November, he will do it again.

March 27, 08. It was again that time when I cannot decide what I am feeling and I don’t even try to find out, just submit, if that is what it is.

Submit. Who takes over after that? I don’t try to find out that either. Just curl inside myself and let the thoughts flow. watch them flowing, like they are someone else’s thoughts, not mine. I watch!!

Back porch time!

So I was sitting there, watching the planes fly by… a take-off and soaring in the sky – a sky, sometimes blue, sometimes shimmering gold in the setting sun, or grey and cloudy – then a sudden thrust and a clap of thunder like noise. So I was sitting and watching, thinking the thoughts, nameless thoughts. Do I need peace and quiet, a stress free life? You bet I do. Isn’t that every one’s dream?

Anderson Cooper was not his usual self. We all are sick and tired of this prolonged bickering of the walkers walking the presidential trail. Was that the reason that had changed the color of his eyes? he was not even enjoying Erika’s lively playful reporting. Or was it the news item about the billion dollar rich Wal-Mart suing its employee, who is suffering some mental disease? But Cooper is a media person. He cannot take sides. he can only report, read and tell the news – other people’s stories. Does it mean that other people’s stories do not affect us? what a news reader reads or a reporter reports cannot touch his mind and his heart? Or maybe it was just me looking through the blue glass window.

How can I say that – that other people’s stories don’t touch a person’s heart and soul? Everybody saw that couple – an elderly husband sitting beside his mentally ‘dead’ wife! But – I trust humanity and I trust that there is some one out there who would come forward and help them

March 29, 08. Stories of war in Iraq are making me weepy eye again.

I came across this very true saying on the internet: “War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.” — Desiderius Erasmus, humanist and theologian (1466- 1536).

April 2, 08. Sometimes back a young person from Pakistan sent me an email. He wrote ” hope is my best friend. We hold hands and spend hours strolling down the hills and vales. Sometimes when I am low, she ties the bells around her ankles and sings and dances, sings and dances for me till I see the horizon turn rosy again… ”

I hope his horizon is rozy and bright.

April 4, 08. Another find: “Let the beauty we love be what we do” —Rumi

April 7, 08. So I was not wrong when I said that something seems wrong with Cooper. He has developed some skin problem. Good news is, it is treatable.

April 8, 08. I have been requested to write an editorial for an Urdu magazine. I write short stories. This would be a new experience and I don’t mind trying my hand at it.

Sometimes back I was requested to translate a Commencement Speech from English to Urdu which I did and that has already been published in a magazine. This was a speech by a well known Cardiologist in Ohio who was invited to address the new crop of Graduates of a Medical College there. His friends and buddies from Pakistan wanted Urdu reading population to read his excellent address. One of them approached me with the request and since I had some experience in this field, I agreed to do it.

It helps to keep the mind in working order.

The other day someone on some talk show, or maybe it was some news analyst, said that “Clinton was using Machiavellian tactic”.

That makes her cunning and deceitful. I didn’t say that – it’s The Oxford Dictionary that says what this term means. But if one person notices and points out her Machiavellian traits then surely there are plenty more who would agree with him.

Obama on the other hand delivers a message that reinforces love, respect and hope. Love for the country, Respect for its citizen and Hope for the future. He wants to bring change and change promises all of the above. He is not “stooping low” to achieve his goals. He is not using Machiavellian tactics. He promised respect and dignity and he is holding on to his promise. Did any one hear him shouting “shame on you Hillary”? There were plenty of occasions when he could have said that but he didn’t. Prefers to stay away from such cheap shots. In my opinion she is trying her best to make him retaliate, to shoot back, to say something nasty in the same vein to give her a reason to target his promise of change, his talks of running a positive Presidential campaign. They keep trying to bait him, wishing him to trip and fall by offering him to team up, to run on the same ticket as her VP. At one moment planting doubts about his patriotism, his middle name and the next offering him an olive branch – VP-ship! Obama actually replied to this very ‘smart’ idea – a number 2 person is offering the number 2 position to the number 1 person!

And who will benefit from this offer, if I may ask? Oh please, its not even funny!!

And now about his middle name Hussein. The man himself says he is a Christian. Why not believe him? His father may have been a Muslim at one point, but every one knows that later in life he had become an atheist. And there is something that no one seems to know, that in Southeast Asia, there are Jews and Christians who have Muslim names. Go to India or even Pakistan, and you will find Hindus and Sikhs carrying Muslim names. Even if Obama’s father was not a Muslim, there still was a possibility of him being given a Muslim name – the father was born in Africa after all. So please don’t make a big deal of it. Its just a name, like any other name. Just honor the man and value his spirit. He is writing a new chapter in our history books.

As long as you try your best to do the right thing, it really does not matter what God you believe in. Allah, Eshwar, Bhagwan, God – are only the different names for the Creator of all things, big or small.

“Think about it,” Shriver told the crowd. “If Barack Obama were a state, he’d be California. Diverse. Open. Smart. Bucks tradition. Inspiring. Dreamer. Leader “

Maria Shriver,
Wife of the Governor of California

A few days back washingtonpost.com writes:

“…… escalation of a bitter fight between the two Democratic front-runners that has taken on a new dimension because of the involvement of Bill Clinton, the titular leader of the party. While his wife campaigns elsewhere, the former president has been making daily appearances in South Carolina in anticipation of the state’s Democratic primary on Saturday, and he has adopted the role of attacking his wife’s opponent the way a vice presidential candidate traditionally does in a general election……”

Well tonight was that Saturday and we witnessed Obama coming out victorious. A very confident, every bit Presidential looking Obama, standing on the podium, delivering a victory speech… and I finally told myself that yes this is the one. What I mean is that I was not sure who I was going to give my vote to but tonight after listening to him, watching him, it finally felt like coming home.

It started way back when all of a sudden he was all over the news. New favorite son of the soil. African American? hmmm good.

Democrat ? hmmm even better.

Around forty. Golly! thats too good.

A young person in the White House? We need that. No more old rotten politics! Fresh blood, Fresh ideas; the White House will get a new, dazzling and real coat of white paint. Good, Good.

That was our Obama. The new Rising Star on the American political horizon. We started paying attention. Whenever his name was mentioned all other sounds would subdue. We saw his face on the TV screen and we were all ears.

“What? what did he say? Hush you all, let me listen what he is saying.”

We saw his mugshot in any newspaper, and we had to read to see what the writer was giving us to read.
Then there were Debates … Cooper style… a whole new vista! Fresh blood, new ideas, and the change you could feel, humming in the air! If there was some anxiety throbbing behind the cool facade maintained by the candidates, it was not visible. They all looked beautiful with not a single hair out of place.

Coming back to Obama, during those debates, I was not sure what I was looking for that would help me make up my mind.

Barack Obama is civil, he is polite. He looks honest and sincere in his actions. I have not seen him put on a show with his family for the world to see. A lingering kiss here a suggestive hug there. So then what was holding me back since I had no other Presidential candidate in my mind?

It was Bill, Bill Clinton. I was ready to vote for him if he ran again for the President’s post. Every time I thought about electing a new President, I would think about Bill Clinton. But now? not anymore. He is not on the pedestal anymore. I do not even feel sorry for that. He himself lost it.

Permitted that all is fair in love and war.

But we are conservative people. We value respect not only in our own eyes for ourselves, but we look for the same thing in others too. We look for decency in one’s actions, in behavior. What puts us off is seeing two grown up people behaving like spoiled kids from rich families out on a mission to get what they want – by hook or by crook. The way they handled their defeat last night will turn even the most faithful away from them. They just ran away to the next state not even congratulating the winner properly.

I am so ashamed of what my favorite person is doing these days. I again ask why is Pres. Clinton doing that? Why is he deriding Obama? I cringe when I look at his face distorted with some inner frenzy to soil Obama’s name.

Sometimes I think about the vulnerabilities we deal with every day. The weaknesses we try to hide and temptations we sometimes succumb to. We remember the troubled times in their life. It was most unbecoming of a person sitting in such high office but, we err, we succumb to the temptation and then it happens, what happened. So. keeping that in mind, can we say its an opportunity for redemption? Or, payback time? I supported you through THAT upheaval now dear husband its your time to make sure I get what I am aiming for. Is that it?

But the most important question is – do they care about their party? Because in their frenzy to win the White House, what they are doing is very damaging to their own party.

…. so he said, ‘would you like me to drop you at home or you would rather wait here in the car while I go in the store and make a few photo copies of these documents?

‘I am coming with you.’ she said May be, I will look around a little. I love looking at beautiful things. Who knows, I might find something interesting’.

He laughed. ‘ you talk like you have a money bag! but sure, you can come with me.’

‘No, better drop me at home.Too bad, I don’t have a money bag. And on a bright and beautiful, sunny afternoon like this, I am not letting anything make me feel deprived.’

But by the time she finished, they had already passed their subdivision. So he drove on to where he could make his copies. He parked the car in front of the store. Just then she noticed the lotto sign in the store window. She was about to ask him to buy her a scratch game ticket that Another thought raced through her mind…getting three tickets has a better chance of winning something .. but three dollars is a lot of money and I would rather not think about spending on a chance game. She was still thinking and he had already disappeared behind the glass door. She smiled at whoever had made up her mind for her and saved her a few bucks. She closed her eyes and leaned back on the car seat.

She had almost dozed off when he came back grinning from ear to ear. Why what happened? she asked. You would not believe what happened. he reached back to put his folder on the back seat.

I hadn’t the exact change on me so I gave the tenner I had and since I was feeling lucky, I told him to give me a scratch game ticket too. I scratched and it revealed 10 dollars. So, I bought 3 scratch game tickets for you because this is how you play. The rest I put in my pocket. He winked. It sure is a bright sunny day !!

She smiled back. How do you do that?
He arched his eyebrows and raised his shoulders.

Now go on, he said. show me what you are hiding in there.
She started scratching and one by one revealed 3 Qs.
What do you get when you get three Qs? . she handed him the ticket and started on second one.

Hey here is your money bag kid, you have won 25 dollars? he laughed again and started the car.

The other two tickets didn’t have anything.

She looked at him. What a lovely day. I am happy .. and life is beautiful. She touched his hand

I know you want me to drive back to that gift store. come on say it, he laughed.
no, oh no. I am going to invest this God send.
oh ok, and what kind of plan are we talking about? he was still laughing.
Simple. For the next one week I will buy three scratch game tickets each day. I feel lucky already !